the people of newport no longer want us shintaro…we must move quickly
FONS (fat old ninja skatenights)
Just dropped in to an internet cafe on the ginza after hearing of your Newport problem my honorable Ninja friend.
Shintaro advises you exercise patience and return to your sacred Newport site when shit cools down as you westerners would say.
If, on your return, this complainant continues - CUT HER ARSE INTO SUSHI AND FEED HER TO HOMELESS 
Dave, I suggest cutting the power to Newport during Desperate Housewives…what do you think?
Stoopatron, Master of the Charlieverse, senses the foul putrescent stench of feeble humanoid ninjas with their rotting mortal meat draped upon fragile puppetry of bone. Also the cold glacial presence of purely cybernetic consciousness clamouring for attention. Stoopatron, who has transcended the distinction between flesh and heavy metal, pukes gallons of protoplasmatic goo at the very thought. Soon Stoopatron will descend from sky to SMASH all Markhamoids, Bradenites, VB-consuming ninjas and other pretenders to his rightful place. Then, and only then, shall he find relief from relentless PSYCHIC PAIN and disgusting memories of SELF-MEAT …
XXXX
Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do. I’m half crazy all for the love of…