Dang! I should have read the safety manual.
Funniest front page caption thingy.
the one and only sir reginald moss i think dont you chaps that would be smashing.
Carey is the Ump …well at least he has the outfit
Wedge Francis having a flashback to his days as a sichronised swimmer!
read ‘Synchronised’
Regicide/adj./ the killing of a king.
SHIT…Should of taken half a pill !
WHO’S HOT
wEDGE francis - says he’s 15 but he’s really 54 - rides for CONDOR skateboards.
“wEDGE skates as well as anyone in MOSS” - fletch.
wEDGE credits marty with showing him how to kick turn on flat surfaces, tony H with turning him off freestyle and carey with teaching him how to “just get radical”.
In regards to all the stories about him, wEDGE merely smiles and says “it sounds like someone else to me: I mean, if I ever wore white striped tube socks, I’d sure remember THAT!!!”.
wEDGE is rumoured to be an excellent bridge player. When questioned in this direction he allowed, “I guess I play OK”. Allegedly there is a dark side to wEDGE and he’s been seen riding roller skates and spotted riding a BMX with flat tyres and a gorilla mask running little kids over at Camberwell. wEDGE is silent on these slurs. It is perhaps noteworthy that during this interview wEDGE was upping the r.p.m.s on his MO-ped, “ought to be hitting 25 when I’m done”. (ed’s. note - the Victorian State Limit is 100).
wEDGE is very concerned with the quality of the equipment he uses, feeling “it really makes a difference, its all that matters”. For skating he is currently breaking in a new Condor 21" polypropelene twin kick freestyle deck to accompany his old standards. He favours old roller skate trucks with limited turn action, “only weenies can’t control death wobbles”, and hard clay composition wheels over the newer urethane formulas - “slide better”. He’s currently researching and testing a line of signature steel wheels that he reckons “will blow minds and break bones”.
wEDGE advises that “when skating banks - don’t ride them like a wave, instead try to do freestyle tricks on them”. For general advice wEDGE says, “you tear up skin twice as bad when your off the walls”, and " don’t think about falling, if your scared its going to hurt twice as bad".
fletch credits wEDGE with poineering the catastrophe. Tony H. says wEDGE was the first to execute the elusive multiple bowl deck fronstside 360 into backside 360 round house coping spin back into 180 wheeler kickturn to revert bowl bottom hipper.
STYLE AND GOALS - a radical unstyle - kinda between Mohammad Ali and Plugger Locket.
FAVOURITE SKATERS - myself.
UP AND COMING SKATERS - myself.
FAVOURITE SPOTS - my driveway - its gnarly.
FAVOURITE BANDS - skyhooks (totally like new man - Red Symons is hot - the real thing, best guitarist in the world).
CONTESTS - definitely not into organization - waiting for the big money in MOSS jam bowl action veterens division.
BRUSHES WITH THE LAW - 6 tickets for indecent exposure (I had to stop wearing my split thigh shorts - couldn’t afford the fines).
SAFETY EQUIPMENT - wear my white clothes - (seeing is safety children).
INJURIES - black ass hipper, knee burns, hang nail.
PHOTO - above. Coping only counts when you hit the trucks - wEDGE on a borrowed board at a secret spot so old it doesn’t have a name anyone can remember anymore.
hOW LONG HAVE THOSE DR#GS BEEN IN YOUR FREEZER MICHAEL?
not long enough to freeze
‘I hope thats sheppards pie in my knickers!’
…“ACID DROP”…
the new mind altering sensation
Wedge…meet the mother in law!!!
Thats My Pic!
“You mean the board has got to drop in too?”
“good time to add a half pike back summersault 2 my run, it’ll finish it off nicely” 
Ah ha, he fell for that one!
“my life is flashing before my eyes and all i see is concrete…”
that is my pick for the best, made me chuckle for ages and probably so true!
There were so many witty, intellegent and sometimes cutting captions to the funniest photo thingy, but I think we’d better announce a winner now coz having this much fun can only end in tears. Anyway I’m getting sick of seeing myself every time I log on to charlie (and I bet you guys are more than sick of it too).
To be fair one Rockin Ronnie’s Rocket bearing should go to each of the top 8 submissions and the packaging and instructions should be split between 9th and 10th (and you could all give each other’s Rocket a congratulatory polish). But one bearing is not use anyone, so only one winner can be chosen.
And the winner is the erstwhile and hersute Dr Stoopid, not for dedicating his life to being a doctor of philosophy, not in compensation for not being able to fix his own sick philosophy despite the training and not for alerting MSC of security issues, but for the astute and eloquent prose early on in the exercise. Second prize goes to Errol for observing the family implications of carving too high for the camera. Third place goes to Richard grant for the ‘all I can see is concrete’ contribution. A certificate of merit also goes to Fletch for his contrubution to the art of wordsmithery and smut.
Now I would like to welcome Dr Stoopid to the podium for a short thank you speach, before Charlie calls for last drinks and that horrible photo is taken down.